AGA Roll Call: Problems with PDA?

I left the club last weekend feeling old- also righteous in my feminist anger- but part of me worries that I'm just getting old.

The song that was playing was one by Dirty Sanchez, about people who make out in clubs. It's quite sarcastic, and I enjoy it, and like dancing to it.

But not everyone understood that it was meant as a slam; I'm afraid some people thought it was an invitation, or even a directive.

And when I realized that center stage, "dancing" behind me were two women who, if not in fact engaging in, were simulating, oral sex, I left.

I was so angry. I felt betrayed by fellow (possibly, although not undoubtedly, queer) women. My reaction to the situation, and the reaction of the women getting it on, demonstrate two very different approaches to living as a woman in public. I would argue that they were being disrespectful to each other by engaging in sex in public like that, and disrespectful to the rest of the club who didn't come to a club to watch sex (as I had not). Furthermore, it seems to me that by acting this way in public they were reinforcing hurtful stereotypes about queer women and our sexuality. Now, it is entirely possible that these women, if asked, would argue that they were good, sex-positive feminists, who were forcing an audience to recognize that queer female sexuality exists and is as valid as heterosexuality (to which the song refers).

And I started to wonder if my understanding of PDA (even towards friends) and public expressions of sexuality is colored by how old I am, if perhaps younger women understand these issues differently. Then I thought, "hey, I know a whole bunch of articulate young women who might like to talk about this!"

So. Si vous voulez (if you wish), write about what you think about these issues.

As you write, consider the following:

- As younger feminists, what do you think about PDA and public displays of sexuality?
- What expressions of affection or desire do you feel are ok for a guy to express in public to a girl? to another guy (straight or gay?)
- What expressions do you feel are appropriate for a woman to a man or another woman?
- Do you base these judgements on tradition, upbringing, religion, or something else?
- Does the way you view your feminism affect how you display affection (friends, family, or lovers) in public?
- What about clothing choice? Is clothing always or sometimes an expression of sexuality?
- Do you have different perceptions of what actions are ok compared to what clothing is ok?

Tag your post with "AGA Roll Call: Problems with PDA?," or, if you're a reader here, leave a letter at the All Girl Army forums, or a link to your letter at your own blog or journal in the comments here.

Click here to read all entries for this Roll Call.