Why should I...?

Yesterday I finally made the appointment and went back to see my counselor to talk about everything that has been going on lately with me and with the man who hurt me. I had not been very thrilled with the thought of going back to counseling to be honest. I do like my counselor a lot, and she has been a great help in this whole thing, but opening up to someone after so many years of this all being a huge huge secret, sometimes just gets way too big for me. But at the same time, when I walk out of her office at the end of the session, I feel like I am leaving a little part of the hurt behind, which I never have to talk about again unless I want to, and I guess it's that feeling which makes me go back.

So yesterday, after a rather unpleasant Gyn appointment I packed up all of my courage and went off to see my counselor. The whole session started off okay, untill she said something to me that made me really really mad. She told me that before I can heal I need to forgive him for what happened, because he is just a sick man. Why should I ever forgive him?? I just do not understand why she would say something like that, after all of the things he did, for half of my life he did them... and I am supposed to forgive him?

After she said it, I sat there staring for what felt like an hour and then I realised how much that annoyed me. So I questioned her on it, and she said that many survivors find it very healing to forgive the people who hurt them. To be honest, if I said I forgive him I would be telling one huge lie, and I wont do it, ever. I felt kind of betrayed in a way, when she said it. I guess after all I have told her, the hardest, darkest parts of my life, it felt as though she was making excuses for him.

Why should he ever be forgiven? And by me? No way.

So, any thoughts? Has anyone else had to deal with something like this before? I just don't understand how to do that, and how it could ever be a healing thing to do. So any input on this would be much appreciated!