Face to face with my past

It's funny how a perfectly normal day can suddenly become a nightmare, but even more strange is that it wasn't even my nightmare. Although I felt it should be, it usually is, but this time it wasn't me.

Friday was a normal day, I dragged myself up in the morning, to the gym, to work, to my next work, and then to the next one. Just the usual, painful working three jobs in 24 hours kinda crappy weekday. Untill late friday evening when I was just starting to wind down and relax at work. As people were starting to leave, and I was thinking about closing up shop, when in about 10 seconds everything changed. A young Woman walked in and rang the bell at reception, as soon as I walked through the door I stopped in my tracks recognising the (oh so painfully familiar) shaking, confused, and pretty much terrified look about her. She started trying to tell me something, but couldn't get the words out, she was shaking uncontrollably and eventually she managed to tell me that she was raped by one of the other guest's. A friend of a gal she works with, who she offered to give a lift out to our hostel as he was a bit lost in our city.

All of a sudden, I was just standing there, feeling like an idiot, but completely unable to move or speak or have anything comforting or even remotely useful to say to her as she stood there pouring out the story of what happened in between tears and trying to remember how to speak the words in english, as she is a foreign student living here for a year.

I can't tell you how many times I have been her, the one left standing there trying to figure out what the hell just happened to me, because I honestly don't remember how many times it has been. But I do remember how it felt, like it was yesterday, and standing there on the other end of this was almost harder. It was so frustrating and all I felt was so much anger.

I did manage to move eventually, and sit with her a while, drinking tea and holding her hand while we waited for her friend to arrive to take her to the hospital. The whole time I had to avoid standing up, feeling like my legs would fold right under me.

I think friday was the first time the real reality of everything that has happened hit me, and it hit hard. And I am just not sure what to do with that.